Source-It’s carnival time, and you just want to go with the flow.Well now you can – in every sense of the word – thanks to the makers of a new app.Visitors to this year’s New Orleans Mardi Gras will be able to find the nearest spot to pee when they visit AirPnP.With a slogan of ‘we take care of lavatory logistics so you don’t have to’, the mobile guide lists bathrooms on the city’s parade route on Fat Tuesday.Imitating the name of the world-famous AirBnB accommodation travel site, AirPnP works in the same way.Not only can those in need look up a map of nearby bathrooms, those who want to rent out their facilities can advertise on the site.Co-founder Max Gaudin told WWL: ’You can just whip out the iPhone or Android or any other phone and basically find the closest place to pee.’Users can either pay through the app or in cash and are able to review the quality of their bathroom experience for others.Most of the rest stops are on the Uptown parade route at businesses hoping to attract more customers.However, homeowners can also rent out their private facilities – much like AirBnB where people can advertise their spare bedrooms.
I just reread this and I come off as a tremendous tool so let me warn you before you read this that that was absolutely not my intention. This app is absolute bullshit. For guys. If you have a vagina this app is great. But as a guy, let me tell you this is the dumbest most useless app ever. If you gave me a choice to pee inside or outside 400 times out of 400 I’m picking outside. This is just what guy genes say. All men are dogs right? I pee in the fucking toilet because there’s a stigma to peeing outside that’s tied in to being homeless and disgusting. But if it were up to me, I’d fucking piss and shit in nature every chance i got. Shit sometimes i come home drunk as fuck and pee next to the water heater container. Is that normal human behavior? Probably not but at the same time it makes sense to me everytime I do it. Peeing outside is like one of the greatest perks of being a guy. Fuck this app.
PS. The only time I actually enjoy peeing inside is if the urinal has a shitload of ice cubes.
EDIT: I guess it’s actually perineum. Q calls this area of the quadron, duck butter.
This is goodbye people. It’s been a beautiful two years. Many memories were made here. You could even say history was made here. After a hall of fame GOAT 2 year career in the National Blogging Association, I’m hanging up the keyboard. No more blogging for pardongme because your boy is a MUDDERFUCKING HOT SAUCE SAVANT! The owner of El Taurino came to me in my daily 4pm toilet nap and spoke magic in my ears. He died before he could pass on a secret family recipe that was never released to the public. Seriously, I ate this shit with a fucking boiled egg this morning and it didn’t taste like asshole. I’m RICH BITCHHHHHH. World peace, world hunger, cancer, AIDs, all a thing of the past. I’ve found my calling in life.
Automatic internship to the person who can come up with the most creative name for this future monopoly of a company. Right now butt lava is in the lead, but obviously I cant be my own intern.
PS. I literally really made this hot sauce. If you don’t believe me that it’s better than El Taurino, you’re welcome to try some. I don’t know how you’d contact me, but it’s the most delicious shit in the fucking world.
Source-A Swiss teacher was busted looking at X-rated amputee porn during class after he accidentally beamed the images onto a blackboard.The bungling KV Zürich Business School educator reportedly forgot to turn off the overhead projector as he surfed the adult material online.As his students sat peacefully with their heads buried inside their books, he decided to take a sneak peek at several hardcore movies and pics of naked women with amputated limbs.
Unluckily for him, it was also projected onto the wall for all his pupils to see.One kid took a picture of the incident and uploaded it online — and, unsurprisingly, it soon went viral.”I am shocked,” school director René Portenier told the newspaper 20 Minutes. “After the lesson the teacher immediately came to see me and admitted he’d watched porn films on a school computer. He was very embarrassed and couldn’t tell me why he did it,” Portenier added. The Local reports that the teacher has temporarily been allowed to continue in his role.His future will be decided in three weeks’ time, however, after an investigation has been completed.
You guys may not understand this guy, but I get him. Class is almost done, it’s 6th period, the bells about to ring. All you can think about is going home, throwing on your stock headphones and plopping your Macbook on your chest with a sock somewhere within reach. We’ve all been there. I’m not even going to knock this guy on his porn selection. Minus children, tranny, fat and gay porn, it’s a glass house. A couple weeks ago I decided to go out with my friends and let this girl borrow my phone to call her friend. Literally right when she swiped her finger to the right was like that zoomed out 6 tab view all filled with preloaded Bangbus trailers. It was cool how she acted like she didn’t see shit, but I knew she knew. So what? I like when people pick up strangers in a rape van, pay then for sex, and throw them out after they’re done with then butt naked in the middle of nowhere. Sometimes I
don’t even jack off. I just skip to the end and watch these miserable hoes run after the van butt naked.
This is old and I love Lebron James probably more than you love your mother, but this clip may be the MOST annoying sports clip I’ve ever seen in the world. I didn’t get to watch the game Monday. Just a couple highlights here and there on Sportscenter and all over my newsfeed. And at the water cooler at work. And on the radio. And everywhere else. Is this normal though? Do they say your name EVERY time you score at the American Airlines arena? That has to get old fast. At a certain point in the clip I was hoping he’d miss so the announcer would shut the fuck up. But nope. Bucket after bucket after bucket.
I still have yet to use this. It’s almost a taunt you’d use in a WWF ring right before you use your special move. Like Undertaker slicing his neck with his thumb or The Rock swinging his arms side to side.
Ha. Haha. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Holy fucking shit. If you just clicked play and started reading already, keep listening. Please. It doesn’t get funny until like the 3rd phone call. If I ever find someone stupid enough to marry me, she’s going to go through this problem a hundred fold.
JOHN CENA… IN A TRIPLE DOUBLE MATCH… LOUDER!… LADDERS!… CHAINSAWS!… EXPLOSIONS!…. FIREBALLS!…. POPCORN!!
That right there is an actual snapshot of a tiny conversation me and Lana had Monday night. Whenever I have the time on a Monday night between the hours of 8-11, I am absolutely still watching wrestling at the age of 25. A lot more so now that Batista and Triple H are back. So you can see how this prank call is exponentially funnier to me than it is to you.
PS. Oh right. Number one on the funniest prank call list? Forgot about that. Here.
PPS. If any of you were wondering what Pardongme still looks like. This. This is exactly how you can picture me in real life.
Source-The L.A. City Council today voted unanimously to place use of e-cigarettes in the same category as cigarettes. That means puffing on so-called “vapes” or vaporizer pens will be banned in clubs and bars, on beaches, in parks, in many office buildings, in markets and restaurants, and even in outdoor dining areas within city limits.The vape industry was against the move, of course, saying the jury’s still out on any possible harm caused by vaping. Some claim the water vapor from smoking nicotine is harmless and that the devices are priceless to those trying to quit actual cigarettes.A pair of Columbia University public health professors wrote this in the New York Times recently…. If e-cigarettes can reduce, even slightly, the blight of six million tobacco-related deaths a year, trying to force them out of sight is counterproductive.The rule will provide exemptions for vapor lounges and vape-selling stores. A version of the ordinance that sought to provide an exception for bars and clubs was defeated, 6 votes to 8.The ordinance was introduced by Councilman Mitch O’Farrell and supported by City Attorney Mike Feuer and councilmen Paul Koretz and Bernard Parks.O’Farrell was particularly concerned about underage people being exposed to both vaporizers and e-cigarette vapor.The L.A. City Clerk’s office tells us that once the mayor signs the ordinance (if he doesn’t veto it), then there are 41 days max before it goes into effect. That’s if notice of the ordinance is “posted” (literally – on City Hall cork boards).If the Clerk publishes the notice in a newspaper of record, that time is shortened to 31 days, the office says.The mayor has 10 days to sign it, but since Eric Garcetti is in Mexico City, council President Herb Wesson is acting mayor and can sign the ordinance immediately. Since he voted for it, we don’t see why we wouldn’t sign it ASAP.Bottom line: This thing could go into effect in mid-April at the earliest, the City Clerk’s office says.
When vapes were at their peak a couple months back, I still found them to be tremendous wastes of money. If you don’t spend at least a hundred dollars on one, it tastes and feels like you’re breathing flavored air. If you do buy one that costs hundreds of dollars, you have to buy juice bottles for it like once a week. In the end you don’t end up saving any money over time like you do with electric cars. Also I’ve noticed Vapers have the same tendency as Yoyo enthusiasts. Remember in ’98 when Yoyo’s were the shit. You couldn’t just stop after having just a Fireball or an Omega X-Brain. You needed the Butterfly or a new color. Like literally the only argument was that you could smoke indoors and it’s healthier for you than cancer sticks. Actually those are pretty fucking good arguments. But now that one of them is out the window, there is no fucking point in smoking vapes. From now on any I see vaping I will automatically assume A) is an asshole B) quit smoking recently and is addicted to flavored air now or C) is an asshole.
PS. Being concerned that kids may smoke Vapes is the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. Eric Garcetti is an asshole.
PPS. To my knowledge, a few Loudmouse readers happen to be Vape store owners. Please sell your store. Like right now. Right now go on Craigslist, Radiokorea whatever.
So Lana sent me this at some point yesterday. After we talked about how cool it was and how much we loved Back to the Future 2 and how that its the best of the 3, I started writing about what I’d do if I bought one and proclaiming how I’d never stop having sex again before even looking at the video. And then that’s when it hit me. This shit is too good to be true. Imagine if anybody could buy this. Like just step away from your computer for 60 seconds and imagine life where everybody owns a Back to the Future II Huvrboard. Right? Did you guys see what I saw? It makes no fucking sense. Then I actually SAW the clip. Let’s just say I’m going to give Lana the benefit of the doubt and pretend that we both didn’t see the video before we went into nerd mode and boner’d out on Back to the Future. For the rest of you who believed it, you should be banned from ever using the internet.
PS. Next year is that Back to the Future date everybody keeps photoshopping and tricking people into doing stupid shit. I wonder what kind of stupid shit they’re going to trick people into doing on the actual date.
Another complaint about not enough blog material. Fucking crybabies. Since there is literally nothing interesting happening in the world, I’ll just do a journal entry. So last week at work, my boss decided to not show up for 3 days. He has this huge tumor under his chin and he said he was gonna go get it removed. Sounds fair. Actually good for me cause I don’t have to do shit except push the buttons on the keyboard really loud every couple of minutes and sigh so nobody unloads their work on me. Facebook status viewing sessions truly aren’t what they used to be. Just a couple years ago I’d look forward to those 10 minutes where id soak in as much gossip and sneaky emo shit talking updates as humanly possible before going back to pretending to work. Now it’ll take me 4 minutes of looking at food pictures and dumbasses checking into the gym, work, or school before I give up altogether. But for some reason this one thing caught my eye Friday.
There’s a token Asian college student in his dorm room with a bunch of alcohol on his dorm desk and his status says something along the lines of, hey you bloody yeast infected pussywillows, watch me drink a shitload of “alcohol” and then chase it with more “alcohol.” And then you tag 2 people to make sure they do it or else the entire internet thinks you’re a bitch. Obviously I’m pretty fucking gullible because I fall for it. Like I’m sitting in my cubicle rewinding the clip and talking to myself going, “yup that’s real. I heard the seal ripping and he struggled opening the bottle for the perfect amount of time.” And then on Friday I try drinking like 3 shots of alcohol consecutively when nobody is watching just to prove to myself that U could probably down a gallon of black label. I can’t. Ergo its fake. You guys are replacing the alcohol with juice. I say you guys upload the 20 minutes after all that drinkings done so I know its real.
By the way, I think you guys are doing it wrong.