Bodybuilding Christian Swingers From Florida Start Spouse-Swapping Website

Source- Love thy neighbor as yourself. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Do not covet thy neighbor’s ass. These are the ethical foundations of any good swinger’s lifestyle.If you like Jesus, pumping iron and pumping/getting pumped by acquaintances bound by holy matrimony, there’s a website just for you.It’s called Fitness Swingers, and it’s the brainchild of Cristy Parave and her husband, Dean, who dreamed up the site after reportedly having a threesome with this wife and her female friend. Apparently, the sex was just heavenly.The Florida couple, who met at a bodybuilding competition, are interested in sharing their beliefs and their spouses with others who feel similarly. They started their online network 7 years ago, and haven’t looked back. The pillars of their relationship: A commitment to their faith, to fitness, and to the ideals of the swinger lifestyle.Dean Parave told Barcroft Media that he doesn’t think that his swinger lifestyle conflicts with his Christian beliefs. In fact, he considers it a kind of ministry.“So far today, God hasn’t told me, ‘Dean stop that, it’s a sin. I don’t want you to do that.’ Until he does that, I’m going to keep trying to help as many people as I can,” he told Barcroft.Christy said she needed a little convincing that it was moral at first, but now she’s totally convinced that god is on their side.“God put people on the Earth to breed and enjoy each other,” she told Barcroft. “I feel God is always with me and he has put us here for a reason.”Their daughter told the outlet that she thinks that helping run her parents’ website is definitely “different.”

You’ve GOT to love these roided out religious freaks just coming up with every loophope they possibly can to convince themselves fucking every single person in sight is morally alright. Like “well God hasn’t told me NOT to fuck that dude’s wife, so I’m gonna assume its fair game.” The good old “Hey God, if you want me to fuck my neighbor’s wife, DON’T say anything right…… NOW…*silence*…OKAY thanks, God! You’re the fucking man! Knew we were on the same page with this one.”

The Bible doesn’t say anything about swinging so that’s a green light for spit swapping buttsecks. If it brings people happiness then God would be happy, right? If a man and somebody else’s wife agree to it, then you’re just honoring your marriage and God. No cheating here, no lawbreaking.

Love everything about these bible abiding heathens. Every last excuse possible to convince yourselves you can trade wives like gawd damn Pokemon cards. I do that shit all the time. Not the swinging because you need a girl to trade first, but the convincing yourself. I can rationalize just about any behavior. Every decision I make, I convince myself its absolutely the right move. But I must admit, waking up every morning and being like “I NEED to stop being a fatass, I NEED to hit the gym, and I NEED to fuck Harry’s wife. Thats the way God would want it” is some impressive shit. Justifying that to yourself and your army of swingers is nothing short of flat out inspirational. Almost makes me wanna go do absolutely whatever I want and tell myself I’m doing God’s work.

Leaked Anna Kendrick Photos Are Not What You Expected

Remember about a month ago, some hero ass mudderfucking hackers decided to break into iCloud to pique our curiosities on what Kate Upton’s naked rectangle body looked like? Katniss Everdeen’s vagina? So naturally, when I read that there was another wave of leaked celebrity pictures I was assuming dicks in mouths again, post shower bathroom selfies, celebrity vacation buttsecks. Nope. Absolutely safe for work (depending where you work) photos.

A foreshadowing of the PG13 leaked photos

Here she is with some cocaine and a half empty glass of wine. Obviously not her drugs because everyone knows you can’t sleep when you’re high on cocaine.

Quite literally, if you told me there was a bathroom mirror selfie in this pile of leaked photos, this would be the LAST thing I expected. F+ selfie game. Step up your shit Anna. Little more skin than your forearm. Give me a shoulder. Some stomach. ANYTHING.

This Anna, I could get down with.

Oh my Gawd. Is she smoking weed? How fucking could she?! She’s so bad. I don’t want my kids singing along to her music or watching her movies.

Hugh Jackman’s Mom-Wife Is Sick Of Getting Called Lucky

Source-She’s married to one of the most handsome men in the Australian film industry, but actress and wife of Hugh Jackman, Deborra-Lee Furness is tired of people calling her ‘lucky’.In a candid interview with the Australian Woman’s Weekly, the founder of Adopt Change, 58, explains she doesn’t appreciate the label which she considers to be somewhat demeaning.’That to me is a putdown,‘ she said in the October issue of the magazine, ‘[It's] like you suggesting I won the chook raffle.’Furness, who has been married to her Wolverine star husband, 45, for almost two decades, is herself a prominent cinema presence as a producer and director of short and independent films, in addition to being an avid ambassador for the streamlining of international adoption laws.Angered by the fact that many people consider her lifestyle resulting from a matter of luck, she says she is adamant that every individual ‘creates their own destiny’.The mother-of-two added: ‘If you want something, you put it out there with good intention and you realise it.’The pair met on the set of Australian TV show Correlli in 1995 and split their time between the United States and their native Australia.They are now the proud parents of their two adopted children after Furness sadly failed to conceive following a series of IVF treatments.Opening up about the adoption of their first child Oscar, Jackman told the Australian magazine that he and his wife of 18 years were present at the birth and held hands throughout the process.

Babe, how about we give a rest, yeah? In EVERY relationship somebody is either marrying up or one person is marrying down. And you are most certainfuckingly marrying up. He knows it, you know it, anybody who has internet knows it. Just accept the fact and situation for what it is and be glad you’re married to one of the buffest, most successful movie stars in the past 15 years. A little self awareness and gratitude could take you places, ma’am. Like I fully understand, accept, and embrace the fact that if anybody is ever stupid enough to marry me, it’s going to be that I am going to be the one marrying up. It’s impossible not to be hotter than me, or more successful, or just a better person as a whole. But whoever is crazy enough to lock me down for eternity, I’ll probably just be grateful that she is. But that’s not to say that my situation ever comes CLOSE to what Hugh Jackman and his mom/aunt/wife. Can you honestly look at that picture and tell me it doesn’t look like he’s walking with his mom?

You DID win the raffle, you senior citizen. Like quite fucking literally, I think Hugh Jackman, for some unknown reason, volunteered to marry some chick based on a charity raffle and you had the golden ticket to his chocolate factory. That is the one and only explanation remotely logical so spare me this shocked and confused reaction. Either that or Hugh Jackman made a deal with satan in exchange for marrying a monster cave troll, he’d have infinite success. Both answers will do.

Drake Got The Praying Hands/High Five Emoji Tatted On His Arms?

Source-Whether people think it’s a high five or hands clasped in prayer, Drake has just made a popular emoji timeless with his new tattoo. Earlier today, tattoo artist Doctor Woo posted a picture on his Instagram of what appears to be a new piece he did for Drake:The tattoos appear to be located on Drake’s arms and depict the praying hands/high five emoji next to the now iconic “6″ logo, possibly representing his new moniker of “6 God.” The tattoo on his right calf is a quote that says: “Everything Happens For A Reason Sweet Thing.” With this brave new move by the popular rapper, could the age of the emoji tattoo be upon us? Hopefully someone hasn’t called dibs on the “creepy eyes” emoji yet.

So what’s the verdict? Could it be a high five? Are they praying hands? The thumbs line up! It has to be Praying! Then again, you could definitely have a left hand to right hand high five situation!

But who fucking cares because any grown man getting a text emojii permanently inked on his arm is an incredible asshole! And more importantly, Drake pretending that he’s too cool for high fives is perhaps the single most ridiculous claim a celebrity has ever made. Listen up you little Canadian closet homosexual prick, the high five is timeless. Its eternal. Saying high fives are played out is like saying handshakes are played out. Its just beyond my imagination, ridiculous. I mean I’m not saying I walk in the room greeting people with high fives like “Up top! Down low! Too slow!” I’m not walking around like “Gimme some skin” and wiggling my fingers and shit like that. But I’m at a game and the Dodgers hit a home run, I’m high fiving the dude next to me. Fuck it, I’m going in for the two handed double high five. Something unexpectedly good happens, I’m putting my hand up. Not because its cool just because thats what you do. It doesnt make you cool, it doesnt make you lame. Its just a high five. A societal norm. Unless you’re fucking Bruce Bochy or Buster Posey. Everyone else does them, likes them, and they’re completely acceptable.

However, the fistbump on the other hand? That shit is fucking dead. Don’t you dare try to fist bump me in 2014. That’s something your dad is still doing thinking it’s an upgraded high five.

A WOMAN has spent $20,000 on surgery to get a third breast and her dream is to become a celebrity

Source-The Florida massage therapist, who calls herself Jasmine Tridevil, said she had the surgery a few months ago.“It was really hard finding someone that would do it, too, because they’re breaking the code of ethics,” Tridevil told Real Radio 104.1.“I called like 50 or 60 doctors, nobody wanted to do it.”Tridevil said her extra breast felt like her other breasts, “the only difference is the nipple”, which she had to get tattooed on.The 21-year-old saved up for two years so she could have the surgery and is also paying for a film crew to follow her around.“My whole dream is to get this show on MTV,” she said.“I’m dumping every penny I have into this. If this doesn’t work, I’m through.”Tridevil said that while she wanted fame and fortune, this was not why she had the surgery.“I got it because I wanted to make myself unattractive to men. Because I don’t want to date anymore,” she said.She has been filmed telling her parents about the third boob and they were not happy.“My mum ran out the door. She won’t talk to me. She won’t let my sister talk to me. My dad … he really isn’t happy … he is kind of ashamed of me but he accepted it,” she said./span>

Hey Jasmine I’m not gonna sit here and tell you three titties is a huge turn on. Every dude’s mind immediately wanders to Total Recall and Arnold and its not exactly ideal. 2 perfect tits is better than 3 weird ones.

But lets relax with all this “make myself unattractive to men.” You know how many dudes would wanna fuck a three-titted chick? Just to say they’ve fucked a three-titted chick? Its not exactly “attracted to” in the usual sense of the word. But some fame whore with three boobs isn’t going to NOT get attention from men. As a matter of fact, this woman is way more likely to get dudes trying to fuck her now. Before she was just an ugly chick. Now shes at least got some novelty. She’s got some do-it-for-the-story appeal. 3 tits, 2 nipples, 1 tattoo, and a partridge in a pear tree, baby.

The jump for what 3 tits look like without a bra. Continue reading

Model Gets Arrested. Mugshot Goes Viral After People See How Hot She is

Source-With glossy locks, full lips and perfectly shaped eyebrows, she stares willfully at the camera.This striking picture of glamour model Angela Coates has been dubbed America’s new hot mugshot.The 22-year-old, a former Jet Magazine ‘Beauty of the Week’, was reportedly arrested for disorderly conduct in Dekalb County, Georgia, last month.Her mugshot has since gone viral, with hundreds of tweeters commenting on her good looks and offering to pay her $360 bail.One user wrote: ‘If you’re not committed to setting Angela Coates free, you’re either a loser or your gf [girlfriend] is looking at all of your tweets.Another compared Coates’s mugshot to a ‘beauty pageant entry form’, while some even suggested a Kickstarter fundraiser to free the model. Despite the numerous offers of help, Coates later revealed she was released from prison the same night, according to ClutchMagazine.Following her release on August 26, she reportedly tweeted: ‘Y’all and this mugshot s***’, before adding: ‘I was released the same night lol. This is straight comedy’.Coates, who was born Tampa, Florida and now lives in Miami, lists her hobbies as ballet, baking and designing shoes on her modelling profile. Standing at 5ft 7ins and weighing 140lbs, she is a former student of Hillsborough Community College, according to Georgia Arrests.

I have a legitimate question that may end off just coming off stupid. How do hot chicks ever get arrested ever? I genuinely can’t wrap my mind around it. Like if you’re a hot chick how do you NOT get out of being arrested every fucking time? I guess if it’s a woman arresting you that would make complete sense, but if it’s a male officer it should be literally impossible to get arrested if you’re an 8 or above. We all have dicks, we all know what happens when a hot chick gives us attention. You’re telling me you can’t sweet talk a police officer out of an arrest? C’mon lady. I feel like that would be the easiest thing to do in the world. Just say you’ll go on a date with him or do that thing that strippers do when they pretend to laugh at our jokes. We’re all morons when a hot chick is around us. Our brains don’t actually work. We can be duped in a second. So really this whole viral hot mugshot comes down to one thing. Angela Coates wanted to get arrested. She wanted to go to jail and be the queen B on the cell block. Talking pussy licked for days. That’s the only explanation, because if you look like she does you should never wind up in jail. Inexcusable.

If Mr Flanders Was A Kid. And Black. And Played Football. He’d Still Be Less Merry Than This Kid

Holy shit. And I thought today was just going to be another day in the office humpday. Boy was I wrong. Little did I know, this little pick me up had me jollier than Santa Claus on Christmas Eve.

We might have started the week slow. Not going to lie. Shit Crappy blogs Monday. But we’re gonna start slow, and we’re going to finish fast, okay? We’re going to put our mind to our effort to our will and we’re going to finish fast, okay? Yeah the blogs might suck Mondays, yeah we might have writer’s block, yeah we might have internet connectivity issues or computer malfunctions. But we’re going to have guts, and coach is gonna change our attitude and achieve everything we set our sights on. A minus blogs, hot ass Would You Suck A Fart Out Of Her Ass, nonstop funny. We’re gonna run through a mudderfucking brick wall of internet humor thanks to Apollos Hester, wide receiver of the East View Patriots. All it takes is that attitude.

Guy Waits 2 Days In Line For The Iphone. To Apologize To His Wife. Who Kicked Him Out Because He Put Technology Before His Family

Source-A heartbroken man desperately tries to win back his estranged wife by waiting in line for nearly two days to purchase the iPhone 6.Darius Wlodarski was in line outside of an Apple store in Bristol, England, 44 hours before the phone even went on sale.According to Wlodarski, he was getting the phone for his wife Joanna because she recently left him after 20 years of marriage.The 41-year-old man admits that it was entirely his fault that she left. “After twenty years of marriage, she split with me a month ago,” he explains, “because I wasn’t the best husband and father. I didn’t know how important family was to me.””I did so many things wrong, so I want to say sorry to my wife and daughter.”He told the Bristol Post he had bought his wife the iPhone 5 several years ago and hoped the upgrade would help her forgive him.The husband was originally kicked out of his home because of his obsession with gadgets and she accused him of putting more value into material things rather than his family.Wlodarski still spent the £800 [$1303.44] on the iPhone for her, despite being out of work. He was determined to make the purchase since he promised that he would before their marriage became rocky.Wlordarski me his wife, 41, on the doorstep of a house part in their native Poland hometown and it was love at first sight. After three years of trying to convince her to go on a date with him, they finally got together and were married a year later in February 1995.They later moved to England back in 2004 with their daughter Daria, 14, and split up just last month.”Maybe one day you will realize that I could be…good again,” he explained, “and maybe you’ll trust me again.”

If Darius Wlodarski isn’t the saddest sack of shit to ever walk this planet with a dong between his legs, I don’t know who is. First of all man, not to poke any holes in this brilliant master plan of yours, but I think the logic is marginally off. So your wife left you because you’re insanely obsessed with technology and gadgets so you try to win her back by standing in line for to days to spend 800 dollars, which you don’t have because you’re unemployed and waiting in lines instead of looking for a fucking job, for an iphone? Hmm. Something tells me that’s literally almost exactly what she had in mind when she told you to kick rocks bro. But lets throw the actual details of your brilliant plan aside. What in the fucking world are you doing man, just in general? If your wife gives you the boot from your own house, you don’t go dress like a homeless bum to go wait in lines. You hit the gym, get in shape, find a new, younger, hotter chick with a smaller vagina, spend tons of money on her to make your old fat wife desperately jealous. Tupac 101. 1) Pussy 2) Revenge. And since you’re obviously not getting pussy, the next step is revenge. This is so beyond pathetic homie. Learn how to break up properly. Absolute rookie shit going on here. Certainly disgusted that you are a fellow man.

This New Method Of Charging Your Iphone 6 Is Amazing!

twThe fine folks over at 4Chan had a great time trolling iPhone users upon the release of IOS 7, convincing people that the new update would make their phone waterproof. It worked so well that folks thought they’d try it again with the release of IOS 8, only raising stakes a bit this time around.Using the notion that wireless charging was a reality and could be used as a doorway into something interesting, many users on 4Chan pooled together to form an idea for microwave charging. That means you would use your microwave to charge your phone via micro processors embedded somewhere inside.As you can see above, this idea turned into Wave. It’s a bit of genius that looks and feels like a true Apple feature, but is nothing but a sinister trick to get stupid people to fry their phones. A beautiful sinister trick.

SIKE! This is an unofficial IQ test. If you throw your phone in the microwave, you are probably a spectacular sort of dumbass. If you don’t know that popcorning your pizza will break that shit, you seriously don’t deserve a smartphone. You have to use payphones and landlines like people who have the poor.