Lady Quits Her Day Job As A T.A. Because She Makes Bank Off Vine

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Source-There’s no reason to wake up and go to twerk every day unless you love your job.Jessica Vanessa didn’t mind her assistant teaching job at a Florida kindergarten, but she likes twerking on Vine a whole lot more — and there’s cash in the ass business.”What I make in six seconds would take me four months to make as a teaching assistant,” she told Barcroft TV.She has more than two million followers on the video-sharing site, and says she makes six figures a year doing this:Vanessa says she has been tormented over her life decision online, but has her family’s support and will continue her twerking career, according to Jezebel. Watch the WTFark video above to learn more.

American dream baby. Vanessa here was sick and tired of dealing with little shit kids all fucking day and decided to quit her job to pursue her career in vine comedy and boy was it a good decision because she is downright hilarious!

Just fucking kidding. She got all her followers from dropping ridiculous twerk videos and has managed to monetize that into making 6 figures. THAT’S 5 ZEROES. I’m not going to sit here and say that it’s unfair that she makes more money in a 6 second vine than I do in a year, or that shes a talentless and unfunny and would be nowhere without her fat lumpy cottage cheese ass, none of that matters. All I want to know is who is this guy and where can I apply?

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I mean look at that, so simple, no audio involved, only holding your thumb down for 6 seconds at a time and you get to stare at that ass day and night. Can you say dream job? Anyways, lets take a look at the tape and you tell me if she twerks hard enough to deserve 6 figures a year.



If Somebody Should Submit This To The UFC, This Girl Could Probably Get A Title Shot With Ronda Rousey

I know. I know. It’s only a 6 second clip. But holy fuck, was that vicious or what? I’m generally under the notion that men have more physicality than women across the board. GENERALLY. But if you paid me money to go 3 five minute rounds with this hood ass chick, I may have to think twice. Remember how they used to say Matt Hughes was so strong because his family were farmers and he probably bench pressed cows and curled horses. Well this chick has that hood strength. Absolutely vicious slam into the wall skills and ground and pound that can only be taught in the most ghetto-est of hoods. I bet that red haired chick wishes she had a weave on because having real hair at that moment can NOT have felt too good.

Also. Spot on Vine caption. On point.
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This young lady absolutely did NOT have to yeet her like that. Uncalled for. Yeeting is not to be taken lightly, treated recklessly like this young supreme fighting machine just did. Yeet responsibly, that’s what I always say. #ChillinoisGxng

Every Girl Woman And Tranny Is Going To Be Sporting Beyonce’s New Haircut In 5… 4… 3… 2…

Remember those huge triangle art scissors back when we were 6 years old? I cut my hair with that once and styled my hair with Nickelodeon Slime once and it still looked better than this. She looks like she unbuttoned her regular hair like a lego and stuck on a piece straight from the bottom of the box. Ugh. Cant wait to run into the girl that took this picture to her hair salon and thinks she looks like hot shit. Get a good laugh out of that.

Hyorin may be the only person who came close. CUE AIR HUMPS

Tinder Match Of The Day

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I have a friend out in Northern California who sent me this. Moved there not all that long ago. New city, no friends. Understandable for a single guy to turn to Tinder to get his dick wet. Its essentially what the app was built for. And between fuck sessions, you’re allowed to be somewhat picky. Maybe at first, 3 months into it, drunk tinder isn’t such a bad thing. Liking every picture. Asking where they live. Just dipping your feet in the water. I mean look at her pictures though. This chick is hot as fuck. You would have buttsecks with her right?

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My love!!❤️❤️❤️

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And then all of a sudden she changed.she became back a completely different person with a new mindset,a new outlook,a new soul. The girl that once cared way too much about everyone and everything no longer cared at all

Rise and shine!!!

 

 

BUZZZZ. WRONG ANSWER. Because now you just had buttsecks with a tranny and now you probably have HIV and Ebola. Good luck surviving life until 2015.

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Sears Setting Trends With This Hot Accessory For Fall. The Nazi Ring

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Offensive? Yeah, probably a tad bit. But isn’t that the entire point of fashion? Isn’t fashion’s purpose to push boundaries, make you think. Make you say, hey, is that a Nazi who wants to drink Jew Blood or just a guy who bought a Nazi ring from Sears for $69.99? The only thing worse than being offensive is being plain and boring, Sears gets it. Nazi rings are provocative, they push the needle. Great for sales.

Chinese Woman Born With Backwards Feet Pretty Much Just Challenged Pardongme To Race Her

Source-A Chinese woman born with abnormal hands and feet has wowed doctors with her progress. Despite being born with feet that face backwards, Wang Fang of Chongqing, China has defied the odds by leading a normal life. She said: “I can run faster than most of my friends and have a regular job as a waitress in the family restaurant. There is no reason to class me as disabled.” Wang, who has a son with normal feet, added: “I can walk as well as anyone else and even run faster than them. I’m like everyone else – except of course that I put my shoes on backwards.”

I think we have the green light here to make fun of this lady because A) she seems to be doing just fine with her disability, 2) she’s from China so I doubt she’s allowed on the internet, and C) she just fired out the most cocky quote I’ve ever heard from a backwards footed human in my entire life. It was cute when she first threw out that “I can run faster than most of my friends” line. But then she doubled down immediately and came in even heavier with the “I can walk as well as anyone else and even run faster than them” line. Like okay, lady. Calm your tits and go take a seat you freak. There’s no chance in hell you could ever beat me in a race even if it didn’t look like you were born next door to a nuclear power plant. I’ll go any time, any place, any distance and you’ll be eating my dust with chopsticks. How can her friends still be friends with her after that? It’s like your ugly friend tells you, “I think she likes me bro” And actually goes with it. I don’t know, I just feel like I have to take one for all the normal footed people of the world and challenge Wang Fang to a 100-yard dash. Put that bitch back in her place so she stops making a mockery out of all of us.

Sidenote: Those are the most confusing feet I’ve ever seen in my life. I’ve been staring at them for a few whole minutes now and I still don’t understand what’s going on there.

Remember When All Those Celebrity Nudes Leaked? Some Guys Hacked Snapchat And Are Doing It. 200 Thousand Times

Source- Hackers have warned that thousands of nude images sent via the mobile-messaging service Snapchat, many of which users believed self-destructed after being sent, are to be released online in a searchable database. Messaging boards on the notorious website 4chan have been filling up with news of the imminent leak, already being referred to as “The Snappening”. It comes just weeks after hundreds of celebrity nudes were leaked online through the same site, following a hack of Apple’s iCloud that has come to be referred to as the Fappening. Earlier this week an anonymous 4chan user claimed to have hacked into Snapsave, an image-saving service that allows users of Snapchat to store pictures received before they self-destruct. By way of proof, the poster provided pictures allegedly from Snapsave.Given the nature of the Snapchat service, many of the images are expected to be of an explicit nature, while the young demographic of Snapchat’s users could mean that some of the images released constitute child pornography. The 4chan thread, initially spotted by blogger and social media strategist Kenny Withers, warns that there are around 200,000 images set to be released.

Ohhhh. You mean to tell me that all those nude pictures that I took with the “promise” that Snapchat would immediately delete them once the counter ticked down weren’t ACTUALLY expunged? NO FUCKING WAY! Look I’m not going to sit here and point and laugh at people for being stupid and having their Snapchats leaked. In a perfect world, you should be able to reasonably assume that hackers aren’t going to sift through your seemingly smartphone garbage can to find naked bathroom selfies from 2011. But that’s exactly the fucking point. This isn’t a perfect world. It’s 2014. People are so fucked up. Of fucking course this was going to happen. Anybody who didn’t see this coming is a spectacular dumbass and we should be able to see them naked. C’mon people. “Hmm. Let me take Snapchat’s word to heart and hope they really do get rid of all my pictures.” Until now, they’ve probably had to comb through billions of food pictures, selfies with clothes on, strangers wearing weird clothes, crazy people on the subways, fights and probably bajillions of other Snaps before finding these. Prayers go out to any Loudmouse readers out there who have a daughter. This is pretty much the scariest thing that can possibly happen to you.

Every Survivor Of This Car Crash Needs To Spend Their Life’s Savings On Lottery Tickets. ASAP

Remember Final Destination, the movie? For those of you who don’t know the basic plot is some guy has a premonition that the flight he’s on is about to crash so he gets himself and all of his homies off the plane to avoid death. Within the next few days, all of them start dying one by one in some horrific freak accident. I still get scared of puddles in the bathroom. Shit traumatized me for soap in the eyes for eternity. Anyways, you can’t help but be reminded of that when you see something like this. You NEVER see a car accident go that wrong and see every single person walk away. Let alone unscathed and perfectly normal. ranted, lollygagging by the road where they know a 2-ton machine of death is racing around the corner at 120 mph isn’t exactly the brightest idea. But still, there should have been a gruelsome death. Or seven. And no explanation why that bitch at the end just has the reaction time of a blind person high of quaaludes. The next guy to put his dick in her vagina is going to instantly become the luckiest man to walk this planet.

This Guy Who Wore A Fuck The Police Shirt To Court And Won His Case Needs To Be POTUS

Source-A man in a court dispute with police turned up wearing a ‘F*** the police’ t-shirt – and won the case. Michael Burns, of Broward County, Florida, told a judge he had been unfairly targeted by officers after recording them trying a disperse a roadside gathering. Despite arriving to the resulting court case wearing the audacious – if crude – t-shirt, Mr Burns won the case. Writing on LiveLeak, Mr Burns said that he regularly records police but in this instance Florida state troopers took exception to his filming. ‘It was public property and I was told they were only being kicked out to ‘ruin their fun,” he wrote. However, after driving away from the scene, he was followed by officers and pulled over, where he was told to remove sticker apparently obstructing the number of his number plate. ‘I refused to answer any of his questions and advised him I would see him in court to fight it when he told me I had to take it off. ‘I went to court wearing a shirt that said “F*** the police’ and while I was told I had no 5th amendment right and I was not actually allowed to ask any questions during my trial, I somehow still manage to win.’

The more I read into this story, the more it sounds like this Michael Burns fellow is one of those dickheads who films and baits police into situations where his constitutional rights are being violated. In simpler terms, this guy is a jackass. Nothing worse than people who take time our of their lives to take even more time out of a cops daily life just to fuck with them. Like those dumbasses who walk around with scary ass guns, just BEGGING cops to use common sense and do their jobs by shooting them in the face. It’s so fucking stupid. Scum of the earth. Cops have a hard enough job putting away drug dealers and hookers and women beaters. Fuck these scum.

With all of that being said, wearing a “fuck the police” shirt to court is probably in the top 3 bravest things you’ll ever do in your life behind having sex without a condom or skydiving. Both arguable 1 and 2′s on that list. But no matter how you look at it, anybody who’s willing to look at a judge with that kind of message on his shirt is one badass mudderfucker. Or an idiot. But just like with any other profession under the sun, there’s good cops and bad cops and everyone has dealt with both. For every cop that gives you a ticket for going 6 mph above the speed limit, is another cop who shows up at your house in 5 minutes when your neighbor is beating his wife. But after you deal with a cop who just powertripped all over your dick, cant beat the feeling of strutting your shit into court with a “fuck the police shirt and winning your case. That has be a high higher than eating drugs with Tony Montana while getting a dick massage from Pamela Anderson Circa 1995. Just big dick swinging, top of the world, money in my pocket, Friday type of feelings.