Santa, I Don’t Want To Get Laid For Christmas Anymore. Just Please Give Me A New Raptors Jersey

Fact. Canada sucks. The way they pronounce about, how they suck at all sports, and how they keep giving us loser ass musicians like Drake and Biebs. Well all that is in the past now. Canada has taken drastic measures to make sure they are no longer the laughingstock of America. Starting with Toronto and their biggest contribution to the world, the Toronto Raptors. With Chris Bosh gone and their rebuilding process underway, the Raptors have unveiled their new jerseys today to show fans that they’re not fucking around anymore. We here at loudmouse love a good underdog story and I’ll be damned if we don’t stand for beautiful basketball jerseys and talented professional basketball teams

PS. Does Canada even have an army? And wouldn’t their camouflage be white for all that snow they get?

Everytime I think of Canada, this is all I picture.

4 thoughts on “Santa, I Don’t Want To Get Laid For Christmas Anymore. Just Please Give Me A New Raptors Jersey

  1. Pingback: Toronto Raptors Morning Coffee Dec 22 | Raptors Republic | ESPN TrueHoop's Toronto Raptors Blog

    • 1) is your real name dick? 2) what are you talking aboot? Canada is our bitch. 3) your natural sport is what hockey? a sport .07% of the earth watches?

      • America, land of the obese, unintelligent, and cocksuckers like whoever writes this shit. Also, fuck that asshole because I have Adblock on and they aren’t getting shit from me in terms of ad revenue.

        FACT: 74% of all beer brewed in the United States starts as filtered Canadian Piss (well, all of the eligible males in Canada each drink a 24 of Blue and urinate it into large vats, each of which is shipped to the Anheuser-Busch-InBev conglomerate to be turned into the ganky light beer that you fags drink)

        Your over-religious, too-dumb-to-figure-out-decent-healthcare country full of dumbasses can stick to what it’s doing. Besides, sooner or later someone will hate the US to the point of committing another act of terror. Hooray, excessive war!


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