Who’s Better? White Mariah Carey vs Black Mariah Carey

I’ve been a fan of Mariah Carey since I was 7 years old. Before I can even speak english, I was rolling my tongue in jibberish trying my best to imitate her lyrics. Her album jacket revealed a shy teenager with a smile that made my dick rise like a morning bun from a Jewish bakery. There’s no denying the amount of talent nor her influence on pop culture, but no one gets a pass on Loud Mouse….not even the shy teenager who surged my cock with blood.

Born in 1970, Mariah Carey was born from an African American / Irish descendant.
She’s sold over 200 MILLION records worldwide, spent 16 weeks on the Billboard 100 with her single, “One Sweet Day” a duet with Boyz II Men, signed a 100 million dollar contract with Virgin Records, and crowned best selling female artist with 65 million in the US alone. This is the white Mariah. Before she became all hippity-doo and fat, Mariah was shittin on bitches left and right.

Pictured above is the black Mariah. The ghetto-fied, blang-blang Mariah that signed a 50 million dollar deal with Island Records, and this is where it ALL started to go wrong.
Can you even compare The Emancipation of Mimi and E=MC2 to albums like Emotions, Music Box, or Daydream? Fuck no. Mariah goes from marrying a record company top dog Tommy Mottola, to

a clown that hosted Wild’n Out.
I’m talkin bout a record-breaking, diamond selling, songs with Whitney Houston and Luther Vandross having artist that decides to marry a fuckin clown that can’t record half a song by himself. Does anyone not understand the fuckery behind the decline of Mariah Carey? Ever since Mariah Carey decided to fuck with the other half of her heritage, she starts gaining weight and freakin out making songs with corny ass artists.

Yes, white Mariah…you will ALWAYS Be my baby….

But black Mariah..you might as well go throw on a Ed Hardy velour suit if they have one, and join all the Armo’s in Glendale for fashion week.


I want the white Mariah back.


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